What’s Gotta Stay

If there ever was a life tip I am writing for myself, this would be it. I am a critical person, both of myself and of things around me. I try very hard not to voice my criticisms of others, but sometimes they slip out. Why is it that as a society we feel so inclined to open our mouths and let whatever comes to mind flow freely out? And, when we are speaking her mind, why is usually something negative we are saying?

Having something positive to say sometimes takes a lot of effort. This is something my wife and I are continually talking about doing, especially when it comes to our kids. I don’t remember where I first heard the statement about saying seven positives for every one negative, but I think it was in reference to child psychology. I did a little research on line but could not find many references to it. I did find one in a Google book search out of a motivational book titled 7 Principles to Become Your Own Superhero: Discover the Superhero Inside of You by Michelle L. Heath. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

“Most of this battle are negative thoughts every day. Feelings of failure and Dowd will invade your thoughts, but you must push them out of your mind with the ferocity of a lion. You must be tough. For every negative thought that summons, tell yourself three positive statements to refute it. He must choose your words carefully because words have power. Your mind needs healthy dialogue in order to get you out of your predicaments. Negative thoughts are like poison, but nurturing thoughts can serve as a balm for your aching soul. When you stop the negative thoughts, you clear the clutter in your mind and make room for dreams, hope, and the creation of a new experience.”

Both in your mind and in what you say, negative statements can be piercingly powerful, and not in a good way. Conversely, a positive statement can carry so much weight and have a lasting effect. Whether it is with children, in your own mind, or with those that you interact with on a daily basis, saying something positive or continuing to speak in a positive way can completely change your environment and the way others view you.

Further in the research I was doing a line on this topic, I came across an article discussing how to analyze the tone of a newspaper article. Over at my other blog, What’s Gotta Go, I am often complaining about the negative bias found in many articles I read these days. Of course my opinion is completely subjective, simply in the way that I am perceiving articles I’m reading. This article gives a more analytical take on determining whether an article is positive or negative:

“For stories to be considered positive or negative, one attitude must dominate by at least 2 to 1. In other words, if a story contains four positive statements, it must then contain at least eight negative statements to be considered negative in tone, and no more than two negative statements to be considered positive in tone. In all other cases, the story would be labeled neutral.”

So in either of the analysis that I for today, the general idea is that in order to be perceived or to actually be positive, it is not just a one to one relationship that we need to achieve. If we are simply just as positive as we are negative, we are only neutral. So to be a positive thinker and a positive speaker, we need to at a minimum be saying and thinking twice as many positive statements for everyone negative.

So today give it a try; make a conscious effort to speak more positive statements than negative ones. See how you can change your personal outlook and hopefully this will encourage others around you to do the same. A positive attitude tends to encourage others to follow. Why not? We all have nothing to lose by trying to be a little bit more positive.